"4Forty 5Five years plus 2Two battle scars"

January 11, 2021 at 6:11 pm,

Today, I took courage in facing the big bathroom mirror ; I removed my shirt, carefully examined

my stitch and gazed at my reflection in the mirror.

For months, I have been avoiding mirrors ( it may sound overly dramatic, but not to those who had undergone mastectomy) .

I can still remember the first time I accidentally saw those incisions; I started crying and shaking.. depressing would be an understatement to delineate my feeling that very moment. It took me back to that day when I was diagnosed with breast cancer....

to the time where all I could do was ask God "why"? , the time all I could ever do was cry and pray, and continuously seek solace ; to that time I had to endure all the tests, the pricking of needles

and the drawing of blood.

My whole being was aghast, remembering that 19th of July , where I had to lie down in an operating table; under a general anesthesia and was put to a deep sleep for more than 5 hours.

Opening my eyes, I felt the longing for a family... my family whose presence were not made possible due to closed borders... this yearning would haunt me every night, and would find myself whimpering silently.

Four long days in the hospital room & 50 trying days recuperating from my room in Dubai; all these days I would simply depend on someone to help me stand, help me bathe , dress and undress me, cook for me and feed me ; had never felt so feeble in my entire life :(

That was my ordeal months ago; NOW was a different story!

1 Corinthians 10:13 says; No trials has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

God had simply answered all my questions as to why I was allowed with this. Over the months, He had blessed me financially ; He has been providing me emotional and spiritual support, by sending countless people to be the extension of His hands; I was able to surpassed those days with fervent prayers from families, friends, colleagues, boss, church mates, pastors and many many people.

He made me go back home and rested for 2 months; I slowed down... learned how to embrace everything with “ acceptance” ; then came 5th of December, He answered my prayers with a -negative CA result ! Indeed , GOD is faithful !

Today, as I stood in front of the mirror, I saw my scars.. my battle scars ! I saw an overcomer ; a fighter ! And this scars will forever remind me of God's faithfulness ; of His many promises in the Bible ; of His words that came to life.

Tomorrow was never promised. We all have our appointed day; that one day when we will have to leave our earthly bodies; but until GOD says so, let us live our lives with purpose; be joyful !

Today, I turned 4Forty and 5Five and alive ! .. with a bonus rank of 2 battle scars !!!

Grateful to the author of my faith and this life ; to GOD be the highest glory and praise !

"4Forty 5Five years plus 2Two battle scars"

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